The Job Situation and Nearly almost 40.

So here's the thing...


My 36th birthday is coming up. I have a Master's Degree in Marketing and a Bachelor's Degree in Theatre. I made a pretty good run of having an acting career, and that was fun. I have no regrets in that area. Now I am dabbling in freelance Marketing here and there doing some editing for a friend and creating a consumer pipeline for another friend. A few things here and there.

The problem is not my ability, the problem is my day job.  If I had sat down and written down the worst possible job for me to have it would be the job that I have. I feel as if I've being punished by a Bond Villian. I work in customer care... taking  incoming phone calls.... and resolving customer complaints... for an Insurance Company!!!! This is wrong on so many levels. For one, I am a supporter of Universal Medicine. That can be discussed later and is not the purpose of this particular blog post. I merely bring it up to illustrate that my own personal dogma disallows me to be compatible with my job at which I spend 40 hours a week. I literally have to tell people stuff that goes against the core of my beliefs. For two, the job consists of having to deal with being yelled at a lot. People are upset when their medical treatments are not covered. Go figure. And since I'm the figure-head of what they believe to be the decision making entity, I'm the one who gets yelled at... cursed at... pleaded with... bargained with... cried at. Mind you, I have no actual power over anything. All I can do is read them their benefits and explain the existing claims. Some studies have shown that when a house plant is regularly yelled at it does not grow as well as one that receives positive verbal communication. What then does this kind of regular negative input do to complex thinking mammals?

In the mean time I am most certainly looking for another job, either by moving up or moving out. Every position that comes open within the company that I even remotely qualify for I have applied for. Plus, I peruse Careerbuilder, LinkedIn, Helpwanted.com, even Craigslist with a scientific regularity. As said earlier, I have consistently sought out freelance opportunities and continue to do so.

During this whole quest thingy, I have slowly come to the conclusion that among my talents and wishes is the need to write. Before I had this job I regularly attended a super awesome creative writers group, which helped to encourage me to seek feedback and continue to create. I had a pretty good roster of short stories building up... until my computer's hard drive crashed and wiped everything out. (And yes, several people have looked at it. There is no way to get the data back.) That really threw me for a loop, so combined with the new job I just haven't written anything significant since then.

But the thing is... That's what I'm good at!

Creative, scholarly, marketing research, PR pieces, petitions, letters to the editor... etcetera, etcetera... If something needs to be written I can normally do a pretty good job. When I was in highschool I was the student whose paper got read to the class. When I was in college, I soared through the assignments that involved extensive writing. As an adult making my way through the world I have been teased for using big words (my original draft said 'using verbose language'). My response to this has been that I do not have a list of what words other people don't know. And to kindly advise them to learn to read a dictionary.

My point is not to brag about what a great writer I am. My point I guess is that I know what I am supposed to do. I even know how to do it. On top of that I have some pretty good credentials to support my abilities. The problem again is my day job.

Sure I can do my best to work around it. But at the end of the day, after being yelled at by strangers, wrestling with two small children, and trying to job search online once the kids are down, I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I have nothing left... I have applied for jobs with Examiner.com and sought out similar jobs. Problem is they all require exisiting writing samples, and like I said my hard drive crashed, so no current samples.

In the mean time, I just keep going. Maybe eeking out a blog post once every six months... if that. So if anyone needs anything written, researched or edited, and you are willing to pay me, let me know.

Because I would like to quit my day job and get started at my career. 

Open Letter to the Guy Who Complained About Me Bringing a Baby to the Computer Center

Dear Mr. Hat,

While I understand that it might be a little bit distracting for someone to bring a baby to a place where people are supposed to be able to study quietly, I also understand that we live in a society where parenthood is seen as an inconvenience at best. If there was some way I could have come to campus to finish my homework without bringing my four month old nursing baby, I would have done that. For one, it would be much easier for me to focus on the assignment without wrangling an infant. For two, the professor requested that the format be in Excel so I had to do the problem on a campus computer. I do hope that you will note, that I did come to campus early in the day so that I would be bothering less people. I also would like for you to notice that I sat as far away from you as possible, so as to not be a hindrance or distraction if he needed to be fed. And more specifically, I also hope you noticed that if he so much as made a peep, I took him out of the room. Perhaps you put too much starch on your bow tie this morning, but I found it highly unnecessary for you to go and complain to the office personnel that "you couldn't get anything done" with "that baby" in there.

The facts are this, sir. Motherhood is the highest calling there is. Many cultures in the world recognize this. Ours does not. If a woman quits her job to stay home with her children, she is looked upon as not living up to her potential. If a woman chooses to work she is passed over for promotions and not taken seriously as an employee because of her "other priorities". Working parents are seen as a liability, and on site daycare is found few and far between. The only place I have ever seen family or maternity parking is at Babies R Us and that's sort of their thing. Public breastfeeding is still scandalous to many and nursing sit-ins are still sometimes a necessary occurrence. In our culture children are often treated as something to be dealt with in the course of getting on with the rest of ones life. In some countries families get up to a year of maternity leave, paid! I don't see any American company doing that.

And so, Mr. Hat, I would love to hear your suggestions of what I can do with my nursing infant while I come to the computer center. What's that? A sitter, you say. Okay, do you know anyone who is available? I didn't think so. Leave him at home? Okay, I'll just add another two hours of time to my day (broken up in ten minute increments) so I can pump enough milk to leave him for that long. Do the assignment at home? Okay, are you going to pay for the Excel download for our computer? I didn't think so.

Next time, sir, I think I would prefer that you had spoken directly to me. No, I take that back. That would not have been pretty. If you are indeed so bothered then there is no solution, no detail that could be shifted to change your outlook. That, I'm afraid, will have to be up to you, and unfortunately the general populous as well.

Sincerely,
Gothgirl and her Infant Spawn.